BULLYING EFFECTS ON LIFE: Out of the wreckage, a school bullying victim's life rebuilt

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," Tom Tehan says matter of factly across the timber cafe table. "I was just trying to stop feeling. And Panadol is to stop pain, that's how it worked in my head."

The thing is, Tom downed several packets of Panadol in his attempt to numb his pain. He ended up needing his stomach pumped and spent three days in hospital when he should have been out enjoying the spring racing carnival with his girlfriend and friends.
Tom Tehan and his mother, Amanda Wallace. Photo: Jason South

Instead at 19 he was having a breakdown; the result he says of being bullied at school three years earlier.

It's rare to gain an insight into the long-term impact of school bullying. Now and then incidents pop up in the news. Sometimes they are even accompanied by a video shot on a student's mobile phone. Principals, parents and psychologists have their say. And then everyone moves on. Except not everyone can.

Tom couldn't. His years of school bullying culminated in receiving a letter containing a bullet and a death threat at his home. "Bang bang Tomas" the computer-printed note read, misspelling his name. "I just remember breaking down in tears," he says. "It was confirmation, after all the verbal and physical taunts and the times I was excluded, that I wasn't liked."

Though he was never identified by name, Tom's experience was one of those that made headlines in 2007: "Xavier student sent bullet in the mail". Now, more than a decade on, Tom wants to tell his story. It's a story about the car crash that can follow school bullying – and how one man emerged from the wreckage.

At 19, Tom had left Xavier for a new school, finished year 12 and started university. Summer was on the way and things appeared on track. But his bullying burden was always there in the background, unresolved. His stint in hospital brought things to the surface, but he soon suppressed them. He wanted to move on. After being discharged from hospital, Tom deferred his studies at Deakin University and started working in nightclubs.

He was smoking a bit of marijuana, which became a daily habit. He was going out. Lots. Spending more than he was earning. An unsolicited offer of a bank credit card was accepted and before he knew it, he had a $7,000 debt. His family intervened. His dad Peter's cousin offered him a job laying fibre optic cables in the Northern Territory. Arnhem Land. It was as remote and removed as 20-year-old Tom had ever been.

"It was the best thing that ever happened to me at the time," he says. "I had no phone. I was up at 5am every day and working until 6pm. I got to experience Aboriginal communities and hear stories about their Dreamtime from elders."

Tom while working in Arnhem Land. Photo: Supplied

He returned to Melbourne clean: mentally, physically and financially. He was loving life again.
But looking back, Tom concedes Arnhem Land was a Band-Aid. Just as Carey Grammar was – the school he went to after Xavier, where he was part of the successful school hockey and athletics teams.

"I was still in emotional pain, but because I was happy, I could mask it," the now 28-year-old says.

Running for Carey Grammar. Photo: Supplied

He resumed smoking marijuana and working in bars and nightclubs. His nocturnal existence saw him graduate to ice, which gave him supreme confidence. He started to deal in ice to supplement his own habit and mixed with people who used guns to get what they wanted.

Being bullied had made Tom feel he wasn't tough enough to stand up for himself. Ice made him feel that he could handle himself – and that felt good. "I lost all my inhibitions. I could talk without being inside my own head, if that makes sense," he says.

Tom was on ice for years and, according to his mother, Amanda Wallace, he became psychotic. He had "Moses" tattooed on his right arm, painted his car a matt black using spray cans and wrote what he believed were inspirational sayings on the rear window in permanent gold pen.

His memories of this time are hazy – isolated fragments come back. He remembers talking to a neighbour whom he believed was God and apologising to a street tree for the harm humans had inflicted on Earth. In the early hours of January 17, 2014, he was driving down Burke Road, Malvern, on his way to see a friend.  He believed the best way to get there was to put his foot flat on the accelerator and close his eyes. Police estimate he was travelling at 122/kmh when he crashed into two power poles and several trees.

Tom's car after the 2014 accident. Photo: Supplied

How he survived the crash, no one knows. Tom suspects closing his eyes saved him because he became "like a rag doll" as he was ejected from the car, landing bruised and broken on the asphalt. He nearly lost his right leg. Every bone in his right foot was smashed up, he had a ruptured spleen and broken ribs. He spent three months in various hospitals, which in hindsight was like rehab. It got him off ice, which he hasn't touched since.

In The Alfred's intensive care unit. Photo: Supplied

When he was discharged, he went to his mother's house. He says that after the crash he had no desire to use drugs. But while ice was behind him, a week later he sniffed butane gas and released a guttural scream. It freaked him out enough agree to a phone conversation with a family friend, who suggested he try an addiction program. That call started his slow turnaround from the self-destruction he believes was triggered by the 2004 bullying at Xavier.
 
Having lost his licence for two years, Tom was driven to his first session by his mother. She didn't trust that he would go in, so she waited and watched him in her rear-vision mirror. He did. He went every day for three months. He eventually ran the Wednesday night meetings.
"It gave me confidence in myself because someone had entrusted me to do something," Tom says. "I'd lost trust from a lot of people in my life and that was a way to re-grow it and start again."
Slowly, he rebuilt his life. The love and loyalty from his parents and four siblings never wavered. Neither did the support from his Old Xaverians hockey team, who late last year honoured him with the club's Smithy Medal recognising his against-the-odds return to the sport. It's what got him through; it reminded him how lucky he was.

He has had 10 operations in the three years since the accident and remains in pain due to nerve damage. He sees a psychologist regularly and works in hospitality. He has twice spoken to school students about addiction, hoping his warts-and-all story will strike a chord and make someone think twice before taking a similar path.

What he has learnt from all of this is that everyone makes choices. "As much as I could put it all back on bullying, I made choices to do the things that I did," Tom says. "Whatever was driving me, I was still at the wheel."

Talking to students about addiction. Photo: Supplied

This year he will return to uni to study sport coaching at Victoria University. He is moving on but has undertaken not forget the lessons his past has taught him. These are lessons he wants to share and hopefully, in the process, reduce the social stigma around drug addiction.

"One article isn't going to change how society sees it," he says. "But it just might make one person see that completely normal people get into cycles of addiction."

Source: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/out-of-the-wreckage-a-school-bullying-victims-life-rebuilt-20161228-gtj58v.html

Sister Campaign's For Bullying Victim - 14yr old Kodi Pearson Bullied at School & on Facebook

Tayla Pearson’s fight to tackle bullying that led to brother’s suicide

SEVENTEEN-year-old Tayla Pearson is on a mission to tackle the devastating scourge of bullying.

The aspiring Brisbane-based model’s world fell apart last year when her beloved younger brother Kodi, 14, took his life after suffering from bullying, both online and at school.

VIDEO MESSAGE from Tayla

“We were like best friends, we were always together,” Tayla told The Courier-Mail.
“The experience has changed me, it has made me think about all the little things people do to others. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all,” she said.
 Both Tayla, who completed Year 12 last year, and Kodi, who was in Year 9, attended St Thomas Moore College in Sunnybank.

Tayla Pearson holds a picture of her brother Kodi. Picture: Mark Cranitch.

Tayla said her brother always came across as a happy student who didn’t have a care in the world, but she was one of the few people who knew about the bullying he experienced.

Tayla Pearson with her brother Kodi, who committed suicide last year. Picture: Supplied
She said that some days he would fake being sick to try to avoid school, but even when he missed class, the torment would follow him home online. “Not only was he receiving grief in school, he wasn’t able to escape from it at home either,” she said.

The Courier-Mail has been unable to reach the school for comment.

Tayla is now working with a number of schools, including Ipswich Grammar, to help teach teenagers about the tragic consequences of bullying.

She hopes that by sharing her experience and speaking candidly about the loss of her brother, other high school students will think twice before bullying.

Tayla is also using a national model search – the Australian Supermodel of the Year competition, to be held this month in Bali – as a platform to raise awareness about youth mental health.
“Having that exposure behind you means you have the opportunity to get the message out there more,” she said.

Source: http://www.heraldsun.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/tayla-pearsons-fight-to-tackle-bullying-that-led-to-brothers-suicide/news-story/15a8613491b10ea3e90edda1cc6ba9a7

Sydney Woman paid more than $1 million paid out for Workplace Bullying at NSW Government Agency

The interrogation came out of the blue and continued mercilessly, even while she was doubled over sobbing.

The woman, who was 41 at the time of the incident, has been awarded more than $1 million in a negotiated workplace bullying settlement.

See here for video interview with Lawyer
Australia's million dollar workplace bullying payoutThe lawyer of a woman who was the victim of workplace bullying explains the details of the million dollar case.  

The bullying she experienced at a NSW government agency five years ago has rendered her unable to ever work again.

As two bosses hurled accusations at her during a meeting called to provide her with feedback on an internal job application, the woman who could only speak on the condition of anonymity, said she was in shock and disbelief.

Now aged 46, the victim still has no idea what motivated the attack. Photo: Louie Dovis

Now aged 46, she still has no idea what motivated the attack which had come without any warning. A string of psychiatrists have provided evidence that her mental injury has rendered her unable to return to work. "I can never get those five years back. I can't do what I used to do," she said.

"My career was going well. The agency had just paid for me to do a public service management course. I thought I was earmarked for senior management and then this happened."

The woman's lawyer, Lucinda Gunning from Carroll and O'Dea Lawyers in Sydney, said the more than $1 million payout was made up of two components – one for total and permanent disablement, which was paid out by a private insurer, and a workers compensation payment, for past and future earning capacity.

Lucinda Gunning from Carroll & O'Dea Lawyers says the $1m payout is the highest sum she has seen paid for a workplace bullying claim.  Photo: Ryan Stuart

"In my experience, this is the highest sum that I have seen paid for a workplace bullying claim," she said. Like many cases of workplace bullying, the circumstances at first glance appear trivial.

The woman who worked in middle management had made an error in an internal application for another job within her state government agency. She had accidentally duplicated an answer to one question in response to another. She says she accepted the error had effectively invalidated the application.

However, her bosses insisted on meeting to provide feedback despite her saying it was unnecessary because she understood her error.

I can never walk into a room with two people in an interview again because of the way they dealt with me.

When she sat down with a male and female supervisor, they accused her of having an inappropriate relationship in the office and of passing off a colleague's ideas as her own, which she flatly denies.
"I was blindsided by it. I couldn't understand where the allegations were coming from," she says.
"Had they given me some sort of notice or asked me in a less hostile environment, I could explain it. It was just incorrect. But they just kept going and going.

"I was sobbing and doubled over and they were still making allegations about information sharing.
"It just didn't stop. At one point they said we can put you in contact with the counselling service.
"I said I will absolutely need it after this meeting and still they went on. I don't know why I didn't walk out. It went on for ages."
When the meeting was finally over, the public servant went on annual leave. 
When she returned to work, she was forced to work with one of the supervisors who had bullied her in the meeting.
"I asked to be moved out of that department. But they felt the need to humiliate me further by sitting me outside their office and the team I used to manage," she said.
"I wasn't allowed to contribute.
"I couldn't breath in there. I felt so useless.
"It got to the point where I would sit in the bathroom for six hours and no one would notice I was there.
"I didn't do any work because I couldn't."
The woman, who described herself as a resilient person before the experience with bullying, was sent to a mediation session with the female supervisor.
"The woman attacked me again to the point where the mediator told her to stop. It was horrible," she said.
"She said I had given another industry representative information about a meeting for stakeholders. But they had sent out a notice of the meeting. It was ridiculous. There was a clear explanation for how someone I was accused of telling found out about the meeting.
"I was trying to explain it to them, but they wouldn't listen.
"The woman accused me of trying to take credit for someone else's work in my job application. I said I wasn't taking credit, I had delegated the work and I was her boss.
"The tone of the meeting could have been very different. They could have just said: 'Could you just please go through this with me'.
"But they were only interested in attacking me. 
"As a result they changed my life. I did not leave that office the same person I was when I arrived."
By May, 2012, the woman left the organisation feeling "hopeless".
Every time she entered a lift she would look to the ground to see if she could identify the shoes of her supervisors. 
"I was terrified. I couldn't be near them," she said.
The woman's complaints were initially investigated in house in what she describes as an unfair process.
It took five years to finalise her claim during which insurance companies put her and her children under surveillance.
"This is a psychological injury, not a physical one," she said.
"Everything was challenged. I was pushed to the absolute limit. I'm surprised I'm actually still here."
After five years of "hell", the woman said she had hoped to feel better now the pressure is off.
"But I still don't," she said.
"I can never get those five years back. I can't do what I used to do."

Source

Bullying and Corporate Psychopaths at Work by Clive Boddy at TEDxHanzeUniversity

There are many great TED Talks on bullying in the workplace, here is one by English Professor Clive Boddy, based on his research findings looking at the link between Corporate Psychopaths and bullying, in Australian and the UK workplace.
 

 
Characteristics of Bullies:
Enjoy hurting others, cruel, selfish, parasitic, Machiavellian, psychopathic, callous, disrespectful, abusive, lacking in empathy remorse or guilt, and good at political networking skills.

'Corporate Psychopaths are those people who go into organisational and corporate positions rather than a criminal career.'

'Psychologists have slowly come to realised that those from better socio-economic background, perhaps with a good education and good family backgrounds, have worked out early that it's far easier to get the power, prestige and money that they want from a Corporate career, than from a criminal career.'

'Psychopaths have absolutely no conscious'
 
2008 Study revealed:

AUSTRALIA
* 1% of people (Corporate Psychopaths) accounted for the presence of at least 26% of all bullying by Australian mangers (from study sample of 346)
* Under normal managers, employees encountered bullying 9x per year
* Under Corporate Psychopaths, employees encountered bullying 64x per year

UK
* Found more bullying and more Psychopaths in the UK.* 1% of people (Corporate Psychopaths) accounted for the presence of at least 36% of all bullying by Australian mangers
* Under normal managers, employees encountered bullying 13x per year
* Under Corporate Psychopaths, employees encountered bullying 84x per year
 
Link between Corporate Psychopaths and Bullying

WHY DOES BULLYING OCCUR IN THE FIRST PLACE?

* Psychopaths bully as it's predatory, they enjoy doing it, they like to hurt people and damage their careers.
* 'Instrumental Bullying' -  to create confusion and chaos around them, enables them to form their own agenda to promote themselves, creating a smoke screen so they can get on with their agenda. This explains why Psychopaths get promoted over others, as they are manipulators.
*Linking at an organisational level eg: Enron, was reported to have a culture of bullying, of staff, agencies, suppliers, to keep them all in check to perpetuate the fraud. The same culture was found in banking institutions during the Global Financial Crisis, don't ask questions or you'll get into trouble' which covers up fraud.


Further reading: The Implications of Corporate Psychopaths for Business And Society: An  Initial Examination And A Call To Arms

Prof Clive Boddy is a Professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior at Middlesex University in England. For the past seven years, he has studied the evidence and effects of toxic leadership, and in particular the influence of the presence of corporate psychopaths on various workplace outcomes, including on levels of conflict and bullying at work.

Australian Update - Workplace Bullying

Workplace Bullying: A Message for all Employers

The Australian Federal Workplace Relations Minister, Bill Shorten, recently announced changes that will allow employees to seek assistance in respect of workplace bullying from the Fair Work Commission (FWC).
The proposed new laws seek to cut through the current complex processes available to employees under state health and safety laws and seek early intervention in bullying claims. The new changes will require the FWC to deal with any application urgently.

The Potential Changes

The Commonwealth Government has announced it will hurry through amendments to the Fair Work Act 2009 (Cth) (FW Act) creating a new cause of action in relation to workplace bullying.

The amendments are proposed to take effect from 1 July 2013.

Definition of Bullying

The changes will adopt the definition of "bullying" set out in the Draft Code of Practice Preventing and Responding to Workplace Bullying. "Bullying" will be defined as "repeated, unreasonable behaviour directed towards a worker or a group of workers that creates a risk to health and safety". Importantly, the changes will clarify that the definition of bullying does not include reasonable management action, including performance management conducted in an appropriate and reasonable manner.

Process to Resolve Complaints

Mr Shorten announced that the new process will permit workers who believe they have been bullied to make a complaint to the FWC, which will be required to list any application within 14 days of the complaint. The changes will also enable the FWC to make orders in relation to the complaint, and/or to refer the complaint to the relevant state health and safety regulator.

Early reports suggest that any new FWC processes would be similar to those currently in place for unfair dismissal and adverse action complaints. This would include a compulsory conciliation conference, which is intended to quickly resolve the dispute to the parties' mutual satisfaction and avoid the need for arbitration or court action.

Where conciliation is unsuccessful, the amendments to the Fair Work Act will enable FWC to make civil orders in respect of claims. Current penalties under the Fair Work Act are up to AUD33,000 per breach, however, the Minister has advised that he will consult with business before confirming such penalties will apply.

What does this mean for employers?

Currently, victims of workplace bullying may seek to have their complaints addressed under many different legislative regimes. If an act of bullying is serious enough to pose a risk to health and safety, employers and employees may be liable under the relevant state health and safety legislation. In addition, in Victoria, legislation created as a result of the Brodie Panlock case enables criminal prosecutions in cases of serious workplace bullying. Both of these actions are initiated by state prosecution authorities rather than the individual employee.

The changes foreshadowed by the government suggest that for the first time individual employees (rather than regulators) will be able to bring claims against their employers for workplace bullying. This is a significant change in workplace law and if it proceeds is likely to result in an influx of claims from employees.

As yet, no draft legislation has been tabled regarding these significant changes. This is expected in the autumn session of parliament and we will provide a further update once the legislation is tabled.

The content of this article is intended to provide a general guide to the subject matter. Specialist advice should be sought about your specific circumstances.

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2013 What we have evolved to !?! Oh dear..... Opinion pieces

Bullying in the eye of the beholder

ARE you being bullied? If you have a job, attend university, have a hectic social life or do anything else that involves being put under pressure, you probably are.

But only because everything is defined as "bullying" these days. From being called out on your slackness to being hauled over the coals for your political views; what we used to call "being put on the spot", we now call "bullying".

The rise and rise of the B-word is testament to the touchiness of our therapeutic era and to the now widespread belief that people are pathetic bundles of sensitivity who will unravel at the merest hint of pressure.

The wild expansion of the definition of bullying was brought home to me over the holiday season by an article written by the ABC's Jonathan Holmes.

He was criticising The Australian's recent critical commentary about Margaret Simons, director of the Centre for Advanced Journalism at the University of Melbourne. The Australian's critique of Simons had crossed the line from legit journalism to "bullying", said Holmes. Tellingly, he described this paper as "one of the biggest bruisers in the playground". What was most striking about his piece was that it described Simons's own criticisms of The Australian, which have been myriad, as "judicious, cautious and fair", while The Australian's criticisms of her apparently add up to "bullying".

This sums up how eye-swivellingly subjective the term "bullying" has become. Bullying is now entirely in the eye of the beholder, with some words and ideas (the ones we disapprove of, basically) being branded with the B-word, while others are given a nod of approval.

This is an upfront attempt to delegitimise certain forms of media criticism, particularly those that emanate from popular newspapers and are aimed at respectable public figures.

More and more commentators, academics and even powerful politicians now depict themselves as victims of "bullying", by which they actually mean fierce criticism or public ridicule.

When Julia Gillard copped some flak from internet users (in the midst of the global praise she received) over her shallow, showboating speech on misogyny last year, one magazine said she had been "bullied online" - as if she were an everyday teenage girl being harassed by schoolmates rather than the most powerful woman in the southern hemisphere being critiqued for a very public speech.

Gillard's partner Tim Mathieson has lashed out at the "bullies" who ridicule poor Julia. Seemingly believing, like ABC's Holmes, that we're still all stuck in the playground, Mathieson said "the big boys" should stop "bullying women".

"Would they like being called nasty names?" he asked.

In a human rights lecture last year, academic Anne Summers compared the grief Gillard sometimes gets with "workplace bullying". On an issue like the carbon tax, it just isn't possible that the "level of vitriol" aimed at Gillard is because of the tax itself, said Summers - rather, it must be because of "the simple fact that she is a woman".

Here, even entirely legitimate political criticism over something like the carbon tax, which has made some people angry, can be slyly delegitimised through being depicted as playground-style bullying beastliness. This is a doubly patronising approach - it depicts the critics of Gillard as bullies (potentially freezing serious political debate in the process, with male MPs probably becoming increasingly fearful of appearing like ugly playground toughs), and it also depicts women as fragile creatures who might wilt or faint upon hearing a coarse or mocking critique.

In describing as "misogynistic bullying" what the rest of us simply look upon as heated political debate, feminists ironically rehabilitate the Victorian view of women as sensitive flowers who might need to be chaperoned when they tiptoe through parliament or venture on to the world wide web.

Where the B-word is often used as a means of shielding politicians from the vitriolic screeching of the madding crowd, it can also be used to chastise politicians who are considered too hard-headed.

So the claims that Tony Abbott "bullied" someone at university in the 1970s are now used to write off his entire political style in the here and now. One magazine describes him as a misogynistic "relic of the 1950s" whose "bullying has continued to the current day".

If Abbott makes a strongly worded speech, shooting down his enemies, it's bullying, apparently, akin to what he allegedly did at uni.

In Britain in 2010, then PM Gordon Brown became embroiled in something called "Bullygate" after it was revealed he frequently "clenched his fists" in the presence of his staff and "swore at senior advisers".

Unbelievably, some of Downing Street's staff phoned the National Bullying Helpline to complain about Brown. Did they think working at the heated heart of the British establishment, where key decisions are made, would be a cosy, stress-free experience with no swearing? If so - and I'm sorry if this is bullying - they are idiots.

The ideas of "workplace bullying" and "university bullying" are common currency today.

According to one British official report, workplace bullying can include everything from "arguments and rudeness" to "ignoring people, unacceptable criticisms, and overloading people with work".

In short, work itself - with all its tussles and pressure - is a kind of bullying. Which makes you wonder why we don't all just stay in bed instead, or perhaps literally go back to the playground, where we might be afforded some protection against life's stresses and debates by a caring teacher.

We are all worse off as a result of this bullymania. The bullying obsession is especially bad for politics, since it both helps to insulate already aloof politicians like Gillard from public ridicule while chastising other, more outspoken politicians for daring to appear strong-willed.

It threatens to make politics more dull, and to drain the zest and drive from media debate and from everyday life by branding all those who forcefully speak their minds as bullies.

In 2013, make it your resolution to never, no matter how beleaguered you feel, say, "I'm being bullied!" Those words should never cross the lips of anyone over the age of 10.

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VIDEO STORY : Bullied workers shattered; Workplace bullying costs Australian businesses an estimated $36 billion a year

Source TodayTonight

Bullying in the workplace is something that's rarely discussed, but it should be, as those whose lives it affects can be shattered forever.

Workplace bullying costs Australian businesses an estimated $36 billion a year.
In Victoria, the recently passed Brodie's Law has made bullying at work a criminal offence, but in every other state it's still not against the law.

Karen Carr lives a hair’s breadth from becoming yet another bullying statistic. She barely hangs on each day, having suffered months of ridicule, abuse and sabotage in a job she loved.
“It has reduced me to a shadow of my former self," Carr said.

WATCH STORY here - Video Link 

One in five Australian workers is bullied at work, with almost half of all victims simply leaving their jobs. It’s an epidemic that’s getting worse, and no company or industry is immune.
"This is an insidious disease that's of epidemic proportions," Carr said.
“Bullying is premeditated. It is intentional, repeated assault."

Carr still thinks of suicide daily. She is unable to return to work of any kind, and a successful career in newspapers has been destroyed by a pack of frenzied workmates. Despite this, she is the one punished, and the bullies have not even been reprimanded. “I am viewed as the criminal in this, and I am made to feel like that. Whereas the bullies are all living life just as they were seven years ago."

Nine years of constant harassment and bullying has left gentle giant Rob a quivering wreck, after he suffered a complete mental breakdown from taunts and abuse. Now his wife Tina is terrified to leave him alone, even for a minute. "It came to the point where Tina had to full-on wrestle me to the ground to get a knife off of me, because I was going to slit my throat," said Rob.
Workplace bullying, says Rob, destroyed his life.

“It was a day-to-day fight just to keep him from hurting himself, from killing himself, just to keep him alive,” Tina said. Rob now survives on a small pharmacy of pills and potions to get through every day. “People don't realise how serious bullying can be, and what it can do. People just think it's names in a schoolyard, but it is so much more than that," he explained.

Telstra linesman Levin Madeley is another bullying victim hounded out of his work by unrealistic pressures, crazy deadlines and workplace bullying. “I ended up having to go to the doctor before I did something really stupid," Madeley said. His wife Jenny knew something was wrong, but has no idea just how wrong or serious it was. “You think you know somebody really well, and Levin is my soul mate, so to not know that he was that close (to suicide), it hurts a lot," Jenny said.

Sadly some do take that terrible, final step. Nineteen-year-old Brodie Panlock jumped from a multi-story car park after enduring more than a year of workmates treating her like dirt at a Melbourne cafe. She was spat on, called fat and ugly, and once had fish sauce poured all over her. Under the tougher laws in Victoria, three so-called ‘workmates’ and the cafe owner were fined more than $300,000 after the all pleaded guilty.

Victoria is the only state to make bullying a crime, but is that enough?

Doctor Carlo Caponechia is doing a nation-wide study of workplace bullying and its terrible costs. He has been shocked by what he's uncovered. “One of the negatives is that it's not preventative. It takes for something bad to happen, like suicide or death or someone feeling very threatened and humiliated, and really negatively affected by this," Dr Caponechia said. “People are being hurt and they shouldn't be hurt in the course of their work."

But how do you fix a problem where the bulk of victims are too frightened to come forward?
According to Dr Caponechia “You have to make it safe for people to report, and you have to make sure people know how to report."

Carr is still waiting for her case to reach court. She’s hanging on, day by day, and praying for justice, but unable to banish her demons. “I will never forget. How can you forget an event that basically takes your life away as you knew it?"

Contact details

• Workplace bullying information - www.reachout.com

Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or SANE Helpline on 1800 18 SANE (7263)

CASTING CALL FOR NEW TV SHOW - 'No Leave No Life'

A holiday is what the doctor prescribes, resulting in a new perspective and possible career change?

Link to TV Show information

CASTING CALL: NOMINATIONS NOW OPEN!

You don't need a specific talent to be part of the No Leave No Life television series. We're on the lookout for Australia's hardest workers to be part of the next series of No Leave No Life. You can nominate yourself or someone you know - it could be your mum, your husband, a friend or a colleague. They just need to be someone who works hard and deserves a break.

Registration is open now and closes at 5pm on 29th June, so make sure you apply today.

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Sex Discrimination in Law Firms - Life in the firm still no picnic for women

Former Clayton Utz lawyer Bridgette Styles has filed a sexual harrasment claim against the top-flight firm.

It is depressing to read that more than 25 years since the introduction of the Sex Discrimination Act, and when universities are pumping out more female graduates than ever before, allegations of sexual harassment are being made by a young lawyer, Bridgette Styles, against a large Sydney law firm.

Many of us who have worked in law firms would love to say we are surprised by the news but, sadly, actual and anecdotal evidence would suggest such behaviour remains a part of life in a firm for many women.

When I was working in a large law firm in the early 1990s, some partners would take all the male lawyers in their team to lunch, leaving the female solicitors (with the secretaries) sitting at their desks with a sandwich.

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Pregnant with my first child, I didn't get an annual pay rise that was awarded to all my peers. When I whinged to a male colleague the same age, he said in all seriousness, ''Well, why would you? You're leaving to have a baby.''

In a deeply competitive, dog-eat-dog environment, where a colleague's desk could be cleared overnight, we were too scared to challenge demeaning and insulting inequities.

The mantra fed to all young lawyers, who in turn learnt to behave like victims of Stockholm syndrome, was that we should feel so very grateful for having earned a place in such a prestigious workplace. We knew intuitively that complaining about conditions could lead to sacking, and most women lawyers would no doubt agree they felt the more vulnerable gender.

For many practising in the 1990s, Marea Hickey's decision to prosecute her case against Hunt & Hunt, when her fellow partners denied her the right to return to work on a part-time basis after maternity leave, was a seminal moment, especially for female lawyers.

It would, however, be fair to say that many of us paused, took a breath, and hoped like hell that women lawyers would not then be marginalised and perceived as a litigious impediment in the workplace.

Thankfully, conditions have improved. While some of the change in attitude is attributable to legislative reforms that have forced law firms - like all businesses - to adjust their employment practices, many firms have taken the initiative to actively develop ''family-friendly'' policies. They appear to have had an epiphany, realising that training, and then losing, some of their brightest women is detrimental to the business model and ultimately to their reputation.

As recently as this year, however, I heard of a case where a young (recently engaged) woman making budget was being managed out of an underperforming practice group in a large firm. In terminating her employment, the male partner told her that losing her job would not be the end of the world because she would soon be married and at home having babies. No doubt her colleagues who survived the cut stayed silent, smugly congratulating themselves for being tougher, smarter and better employees, and thus perpetuating the means-of-survival myth.

It is not unusual for relationships to form in the workplace, especially when colleagues work long hours, side by side. Law firms have always been notorious hotbeds for brief - and long-term - partnerships of the biblical kind. Feisty Friday night drinks are commonplace and other firm social functions often end with more than a hint of debauchery.

In the wash-up from these events, the water cooler talk the next dusty morning still tends to focus on flirtatious, drunken behaviour by women lawyers, not the men, when we all know it takes two to tango. What seems to be a badge of honour for a man is still a woman lawyer scorned.

Speaking out against injustices in any workplace takes courage, and for a young woman such as Styles to take on the might of a law firm - which has an obligation to know better under the Law Society's rules for maintaining a valid practising certificate - is a gutsy call. Especially when she, and many others before her, must be profoundly aware that even a judicial win may amount to a pyrrhic victory.

source

COMMENTS

I hope this case will strike fear into the heart of every male in my industry - advertising. Like law, it's full of people who do know better, but still act as if their behaviour will never catch up with them. Go Bridgette.

Anonymous - June 09, 2011, 8:27AM

Congratulations to Ms Styles for fighting back and speaking up. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and even more courage to weather the storm of criticism and innuendo that will inevitably ensue.

What I can't understand is how ANYONE could be surprised about the ongoing mistreatment of females in large organisations. Male and female equality in most workplaces will continue to be a myth perpetrated by the powerful male establishment to placate those ambitious women who fail to understand their place in society - I mean, how dare we want the same treatment as our male counterparts? What are we thinking? I wish Ms Styles the very best for her future.

Keen observer | Qld - June 09, 2011, 8:23AM

This is all about a flawed culture, and a business model for legal firms that the rest of the business community considers arcane. The law firms have a culture of putting the ambitious (and often avaricious) together in a lump after recruitment and convincing them there is only one deeply competitive and low paid way - theirs. The Stockholm syndrome comment is a fascinating insight. But these are also bright young folk with unrivalled opportunity to make changes to their circumstances.
It is the business model that creates the pressure, and the culture that sustains it. Because of the prehistoric structures, the culture (including sexism) is changing at a slothful pace.But there's also a general issue of the entirely undeserved high regard the profession holds itself in, which is absurd.

SWRA - June 09, 2011, 8:16AM

Not originally being Australian is is rather entertaining to watch Australian males in postitions of power and as sporting 'role models' struggling to make it past the 19th century. Even when they have made good, they can't escape their origins. Australia - the last true bastion of male chauvinism!

StanGoodvibes | Sydney - June 09, 2011, 8:10AM

Well done Bridgette and Emma one bully at at time will change the culture. The only way to break the cycle of Stockholm syndrome is for some to challenge unethical behavior and that throws unhinges the bullies.

PeterCab | Canberra - June 09, 2011, 8:10AM

As an ordinary citizen of the world with the odd limb missing and other battle scars I somehow find the story about sharks attacking sharks enervating.

What better spectacle than to see exposed the legal profession for what it really is. May they all devour each other and leave the planet a better place.

justice-at-last | boondocks - June 09, 2011, 8:07AM

As a law student going through work experience training, I find articles (and situations!) like these incredibly disheartening.

I was told by my work place supervisor that in the legal world, I need to make a choice between being a "stay at home mother" or being a lawyer. Well, I already have three children, so I can't "unchose" motherhood.

However I have also worked incredibly hard over the last 15 years to obtain two degrees, whilst working part time and spending most of that time as a single mother. To be told I have to make a choice was shocking.

When I left recently, it was because I was told that they needed a full time employee and since I only wanted part time work, that would not be me.

What galled the most is that I do want full time work. I asked for part time work experience because I was combining study with family and work experience. Once I am done with the study (end of this month) it was always my intention to (return) to full time work.

When I said this to my supervisor, all I got was a dismissive "well, I can't see your family commitments changing anytime soon".

He doesn't really know me or my situation (other than that I took two days off when my youngest child had emergency surgery). He never asked what my intentions were. And this was not some big firm, rather, a small regional firm.

It hasn't put me off law, but has shone a spotlight on what kind of attitude awaits me in the workplace. Glad I'm warned!

Kelly | Home - June 09, 2011, 8:00AM

Don't poop in your own nest.

Cluey | Cloey - June 09, 2011, 7:59AM

I get what you're saying but I don't feel any sympathy for lawyers. So the male lawyers exploit the female lawyers and all lawyers exploit everyone else. I have a bit of trouble getting past that and onto the message about female discrimination in the workplace. If the story was about 'women in finance' or 'women in IT' then perhaps I'd give a damn.

jacorb effect | sydney - June 09, 2011, 7:44AM

This is indeed a sad state of affairs, but unfortunately it is demonstrative of the ever-present arrogance in the legal profession. As a lawyer, I have observed broadly arrogant behaviour (from both women and men) in the profession since my pre-admission days working in the industry and additionally, a healthy dose of misogyny and objectification thrown in the mix.

There are people who observe such behaviour in this profession and in the wider community who think "oh well, it will always be this way" and it is exactly this attitude which perpetuates the problem. I don't know about the veracity of Ms Styles claims and no doubt the full details will come out in the course of this hearing but there is no doubt that this is a serious problem for female lawyers, particularly in large firms.

Having said that, there are a lot of decent male lawyers out there who do not get caught up in this destructive and discriminatory culture and it is for these people to stand up for women (as well as women standing up for themselves) when they see that something wrong is happening. We've all heard the saying that "all it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing", but more people need to live by it. As you have rightly said, Emma, courage is key.

One final but minor observation from the photo caption - it says Ms Styles is suing the firm for sexual assault and defamation. I wasn't aware that one could bring a sexual assault action (whether civil or criminal) against a business. The only other observation is that Belinda Styles is a pretty awesome name.

Tiago | Sydney - June 09, 2011, 7:25AM