75% Of Workers Are Affected By Bullying - Here's What To Do About It

Published: Forbes.com 
by Christine Comaford, 27 August, 2016

Workplace bullying is frighteningly common and takes an enormous toll on our businesses. Research from Dr. Judy Blando (University of Phoenix) has proven that almost 75% of employees surveyed had been affected by workplace bullying, whether as a target or a witness.

75%. That’s huge.

So what exactly is workplace bullying?

“Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is: threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or work-interference, i.e. sabotage, which prevents work from getting done,” from Workplace Bullying Institute.

One of the main differences between schoolyard bullying and workplace bullying is that it tends to be less physically harmful and more psychological and verbal in nature. It’s subtler than schoolyard bullying but is quite distinctive from normal workplace stress.

 

The 13 Most Frustrating Coworker Types And How To Deal With Them

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One of the main differences between schoolyard bullying and workplace bullying is that it tends to be less physically harmful and more psychological and verbal in nature. It’s subtler than schoolyard bullying but is quite distinctive from normal workplace stress.

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“Bullying is characterized by:

• Repetition (occurs regularly)
• Duration (is enduring)
• Escalation (increasing aggression)
• Power disparity (the target lacks the power to successfully defend themself)
• Attributed intent” (from Wikipedia)

According to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI), bullying is four times more common than either sexual harassment or racial discrimination on the job.

Who The Bullies Are

Here is what you have to understand, the targets of workplace bullying are not the weakest players—they are often the strongest.
Let’s say that again. The common misconception is that, like schoolyard bullying, the targets of workplace bullying are loners, or “weird” or the people who “don’t fit.” In fact the reverse is true.

People become targets because something about them is threatening to the bully. Often they are more skilled, more technically proficient, have a higher EQ or people just like them better. They are often workplace veterans who mentor new hires.
“WBI research findings and conversations with thousands of targets have confirmed that targets appear to be the veteran and most skilled person in the workgroup” (quote from WBI).

Now the bully tends to be someone who is skilled at manipulating and controlling, but while they see everything as a competition, they do not feel skilled/competent enough to compete on their own merits. Hence they bully as a futile attempt to feel more powerful.

The bully often works hard to create the perception that they are strong by putting down and blaming others. Often the boss of the bully knows the bully is “disliked” but thinks that the organization cannot do without them and makes “allowances.” The bullying is framed as “personality conflict.”

What Bullying Is Costing Your Company

When you, as the leader of an organization allow bullying to occur you create at least five problems:

1. The target of the bullying will experience a loss of confidence and an increase in stress that often shows up in health problems. Their performance will decline. They may need more time off to recover. So you have lower performance by at least one person, the target.

2. By allowing the bullying to continue you are accepting a toxic culture, prevalent Critter State, and reduced performance and morale. The people witnessing the bullying will have to choose to side with the bully, leave, risk retribution by speaking out, or remain passive and try to stay under the bully’s radar. To be non-threatening to the bully they may lower their performance in some way.

3. Eventually the target will have no recourse but to leave. Research has shown that the vast majority of targets eventually leave. You now have lost a good employee and have all the costs of a new hire.

4. Plus you have the almost certain guarantee that the cycle will repeat itself. I find that organizations which condone bullying, which have prevalent Critter State, also have high employee turnover rates, far less revenue per employee, increased absences, and the list goes on and on.

5. You are opening yourself up to potential litigation. While bullying is not, strictly speaking, illegal it may be connected to a form of harassment or discrimination which can be subject to litigation. At the least attention will be taken up in tracking and “proving” a case.
All this from denying bullying—oh, and let’s add the personal guilt of not protecting one’s tribe.



How To Stop Bullying—And Start Boosting Smart State

Workplace bullies can be hard to detect because they work within the rules of the organization. That means that the solutions lie within the organizational structure.

I have been asked to coach several workplace bullies because someone, usually their boss, wanted them to change. The problem with this sort of coaching is that the person themselves doesn’t want to change. The coaching is seen as a punishment rather than as a reward and a path to greater leadership.

The reality is that the leadership team is responsible. Bullying cannot happen without approval (“oh that’s just how xx is!”). It’s up to you to create an environment that is safe and healthy for the entire team—the Smart State. The biggest problem with bullies is usually that someone higher up likes them – “oh xx is great at a party!” - or some other nonsense.
 
The first step is to confront the bully. Use my formal feedback steps to outline the specific behaviors that must change. Agree on objective performance measurements. Make sure that the bully transfers their feeling of threat from their target to the organization. Give them specific ways to manipulate and control their own outcomes—turn their skills into assets if possible. If not possible, they have to go. If you are serious about creating the culture of your dreams, you have to be willing to hire and fire based on your values.

I have found that what works best, culturally, is to focus on creating structures that reward “Smart State” behaviors and discourage/punish bullying behaviors. This starts with ensuring the confidentiality of anyone reporting bullying behavior and ensuring that there are no reprisals.

How To Stop Bullying—And Start Boosting Smart State

Workplace bullies can be hard to detect because they work within the rules of the organization. That means that the solutions lie within the organizational structure.

I have been asked to coach several workplace bullies because someone, usually their boss, wanted them to change. The problem with this sort of coaching is that the person themselves doesn’t want to change. The coaching is seen as a punishment rather than as a reward and a path to greater leadership.

The reality is that the leadership team is responsible. Bullying cannot happen without approval (“oh that’s just how xx is!”). It’s up to you to create an environment that is safe and healthy for the entire team—the Smart State. The biggest problem with bullies is usually that someone higher up likes them – “oh xx is great at a party!” - or some other nonsense.

The first step is to confront the bully. Use my formal feedback steps to outline the specific behaviors that must change. Agree on objective performance measurements. Make sure that the bully transfers their feeling of threat from their target to the organization. Give them specific ways to manipulate and control their own outcomes—turn their skills into assets if possible. If not possible, they have to go. If you are serious about creating the culture of your dreams, you have to be willing to hire and fire based on your values.

I have found that what works best, culturally, is to focus on creating structures that reward “Smart State” behaviors and discourage/punish bullying behaviors. This starts with ensuring the confidentiality of anyone reporting bullying behavior and ensuring that there are no reprisals.

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Organizational structures which put the focus on problem solving and which create clear and fair performance markers work to reduce bullying.

For example:

• reward ideas and innovations
• reward people for bringing safety or other problems to leaders’ attention
• use structures, like Kanban boards, which isolate bottlenecks as work flow issues only, and therefore reduce finger-pointing and blame
• implement an intranet system where team members can give each other high fives and recognize contribution

• make sure any performance measuring systems that you are using are fair and objective, and reward what you are actually interested in achieving (e.g. one client was rewarding employees for quantity but not measuring quality and our assessment found that their “high performers” were actually the ones creating problems).

Remember, stopping bullying begins with you. To what are you really committed?

For more on bullying in the workplace and how to put an end to it for good, see my previous post: How To Stop Workplace Bullies In Their Tracks

Christine Comaford is the author of SmartTribes: How Teams Become Brilliant Together.


Source: http://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecomaford/2016/08/27/the-enormous-toll-workplace-bullying-takes-on-your-bottom-line/#eec89f3386ee

What Makes A Great Leader? ... Listen, have a heart, be inspirational, don't Bully, don't harass or be arrogant ...

The secret to being a great leader isn't to bully or harass your underlings - it's to be a sensitive listener.

Researchers say the best politicians, businessmen and managers stay in touch with their followers and support those they lead. Their findings also revealed most leaders have a natural shelf life and that over time they tend to become so isolated they fall out of favour.

Good leader, bad leader: Baroness Margaret Thatcher was a good leader while William Hague was bad because he lost credibility over his beer boasts

The study sheds light on the rise and fall of some of the most influential leaders of the last 100 years, including Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher.

Prof Alex Haslam and Dr Kim Peters, psychologists at Exeter University, have spent the last year distilling the wisdom of 85 self-help books and biographies.

They discovered most leaders have seven secrets to their success and that most of those are surprisingly 'touchy feely'.

The most common of these was to be sensitive to followers, a trait cited by 57 per cent of the books. More than half of those studied were 'positive and inspirational', while 48 per cent treated followers with respect, the researchers told the British Science Festival in Birmingham.

Other so-called secrets included meeting staff expectations and avoiding arrogance.

Dr Peters said the findings clashed with conventional ideas that the best leaders were driven individuals with domineering personalities.

'Actually, it's someone who is always looking to their followers and who is concerned about their relationship with them,' she said.

The researchers identified a 'leadership trajectory' which eventually sees leaders fall from grace. This happens when, instead of recognising that their success depends on keeping a good relationship with their followers, they begin to believe their own hype and the decline in popularity begins.

Good leaders must also hide the fact they are trying to be 'one of the people'.

Former Tory leader William Hague lost credibility when he boasted about drinking up to 14 pints a day as a teenager.

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Great Leaders Must Swap Bluster For Soft Approach ‎ Former South African president Nelson Mandela and wife Graca Machel with former British prime minister Tony Blair. Mr Blair and Mr Mandela were among 81 leaders analysed by researchers at the University of Exeter.

BECOMING A great leader is less about bluster and command and more about caring and sharing, according to a new analysis of the psychology behind “leadership and followership”.

It also shows that, no matter how popular, all leaders have a shelf life. The study of 81 “leaders” from Hillary Clinton to Attila the Hun, and from Tony Blair to Santa Claus, was one of the topics discussed on the opening day of the British Science Festival.

Prof Alex Haslam and Prof Kim Peters of the University of Exeter described their analysis of 85 books about the world’s greatest leaders, putting their findings into a soon to be released book, The New Psychology of Leadership.

The analysis provides insights into what makes a successful leader, and offers seven “leadership secrets” that can help achieve this.

Prof Haslam said leaders gain power and hold power not by being rough and tough, but by being recognised as one of the people. Leadership is a process of “social identity management” that counts on a leader’s ability to create in followers a sense of being “special” and a feeling of belonging to the group, he said.

“The real secret about leaders is it is not about me, it is about the group.” While ultimately it is all about power, getting there is about getting cosy with the followers. “Emotional connectivity is important for leaders because it shows they are part of the shared group,” said Prof Haslam.

Margaret Thatcher hardly seemed to depend on emotional connectivity, and yet she also depended on her support group, those who disagreed with the power of the trade unions and those who backed an approach suited to the middle class.

Tony Blair was also particularly good at making an emotional connection, said Prof Stephen Reicher of the University of St Andrews. Successful leaders ally themselves with those they represent, all the time remaining ordinary members of the group, he added. “They are extraordinary in feeling ordinary.”

They also, however, tend to follow a familiar trajectory, said Prof Reicher. Early success as a popular leader often begins to make them think they know better and have all the answers, in effect losing contact with the group. “Leadership has a shelf life. The risk is they begin to believe in themselves, and lose the sense of us.”

US president Barack Obama has faltered in the polls because of this, said Prof Peters. He assumed power with a close emotional bond with the voters. Yet he failed to see and respond quickly enough to strong public anger about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. This has broken his link with the public, she said.

Those with leadership ambitions also need to be convincing when attempting to connect with the people.

Former Tory leader William Hague failed miserably in this regard, Prof Reicher said. “He was the quintessential ‘other’, he was a geek politician.” The baseball cap fooled no one.

Choosing the greatest leaders was likely an impossible task, said Prof Michelle Ryan of Exeter. “It depends on who is deciding. There is no one greatest leader,” she said.

The participants were slow to suggest a top three, but Prof Haslam tentatively offered former South African president Nelson Mandela. He was extraordinary compared to other leaders in that he also knew when to bow out, “exiting gracefully”, Prof Haslam said, adding that it could be difficult to make people leave when their connection with the public was lost.

The science festival got under way in Birmingham yesterday and continues into the weekend.

Ruling class how to command

A STUDY of world leaders by Prof Alex Haslam and Prof Kim Peters of the University of Exeter has established seven “leadership secrets” for success:

1 Be sensitive to followers;
2 Be positive and inspirational;
3 Treat followers with respect;
4 Work hard for the group;
5 Meet or exceed followers’ expectations;
6 Support followers;
7 Don’t be overbearing or arrogant.

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Also see 'Bullies at the Top - What happens when the bully is the Prime Minister of your country? 'Rudd outburst an abuse of power'

SOLUTIONS - Assertive action needed to confront bullies in workplace

Q. Our manager yells at us and frequently says that if we don't like it here, we should quit. He knows full well that it would be extremely difficult for us to find other jobs, and he almost seems to enjoy this fact. We never hear a compliment, but he is very quick to criticize. How should we deal with him?

A. Your manager's threats and ridiculous advice qualify him for the bully category, but this does not mean that you have to qualify for the victim category. You are simply his targets.

If you take no action at all, your manager is likely to continue and even intensify his outrageous antics. As a result, one option is for a group of you to meet with him, express your feelings about his specific behaviors and clearly indicate that you want them to stop. Bullies tend to back away from strong and assertive opponents.

If he continues his harangues, your next option is to speak with his manager. Most companies are operating much leaner today and senior management is not particularly enthusiastic about employees at any level who are interfering with the focus, performance, and productivity of others, while creating possible liability for the company.

Your working relationship with your fellow employees is particularly important now, and the guidance and support that you provide each other can help all of you get through difficult times with a difficult manager. It is definitely risky to consider quitting, but perhaps your actions will cause your manager to quit his bullying behaviors.

Q. Our manager just told us that he is bringing in an expert on grammar to help all of us with our writing. Although our jobs include writing e-mail to other employees and to customers, I know that we are able to get our messages across, and it seems silly for us to sit in grammar lessons when we have work to do. What do you think?

A. Most managers would not jump at the opportunity to implement grammar training unless they found significant problems in the employees' written communications. Although you mentioned that you are able to get your messages across, your manager probably believes that you and your co-workers will be able to do so more effectively and efficiently with improved grammatical skills.

There is no question that people are able to communicate with each other in spite of astounding grammatical errors. However, even if employee communication is effective most of the time, that still means that there are communication errors at least some of the time. If improved grammatical skills can prevent such errors and the costs that accompany them, then such training is clearly worthwhile.

And further, even if your customers are able to understand grammatically-challenged messages from you or your fellow employees, such messages actually send unwritten messages about your company, especially in terms of the quality of work, concern for detail and interest in keeping errors to a minimum. If you approach this type of training with an open mind and positive expectations, you are highly likely to enjoy it and enjoy the benefits that it offers.

Q. I like to collect funny slogans and put them on the wall of my cubicle. I change them often, and employees like to come by my cubicle for a laugh. The other day, my manager told me to take them all down because one of them had a sexual connotation. I think this is an overreaction. I'll take down the one in question, but I'm inclined to leave the others up. What do you think?

A. You may like funny slogans, but ignoring a directive from your manager is not exactly funny.

For starters, it definitely makes sense for you to take down the arguably sexually offensive slogan. Most employers have zero tolerance for any behaviors or actions that could arguably form the basis of a sexual harassment claim. It sounds like the slogan in question has the possibility of creating a hostile environment.

As for the other slogans, you should take them down at this point for one reason, namely the directive from your manager.

Ken Lloyd is an Encino-based management consultant, coach, and author who specializes in organizational behavior. He is the author of "Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People Problems and Problem People." Write to him at lloydonjob@gmail.com.
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Agressive and abusive employees and how to handle them

Dodging Landmines

How to Handle an Abusive Coworker




Deal with objective data. Ed Muzio, President and CEO of Group Harmonics, suggests applying the "video camera test." Can you describe the person's behavior as though you're watching it on a TV? Once you can be specific you should approach the coworker in private and discuss ways to improve the situation together.


Coping with an Aggressive Employee



Fear and anxiety can make an otherwise rational employee overreact. Ed Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics, says to stay issue focused when talking to them--avoid being emotional. Move the discussion to a productive environment so you can offer the employee information, help, and support.


Confronting a Manager who Undercuts your Authority



Ed Muzio, CEO of Group Harmonics, says to approach your manager in private with a specific incident and then turn the conversation into a discussion about how decision-making should work around the office. Although your manager has the ability to fire you, if you let the behavior turn into a pattern, it will get more and more difficult to change.

Workplace bullying can wreak havoc on the job, sapping productivity, devastating morale and increasing absenteeism.

You should know it when you see it....

Verbal harassment at work, practical jokes, threats, intimidation, and even sabotage, are all the hallmarks of a workplace bully.

As opposed to tough management, "bullying is a level of misery that falls disproportionally on the few," said Gary Namie, director of the Workplace Bullying Institute in Bellingham, Wash.

A 2007 survey by the institute and Zogby International found that 37 percent of American workers have been bullied at work. Nearly three-quarters, 72 percent, of the bullies are bosses, the survey said.

And as companies struggle, experts say workplace bullying has grown as people fear job loss.

"It is just really out of fear. Where there is fear there is a need to control," said Terri Dawe, employee assistance coordinator at CPC Behavioral Healthcare, which has centers around Monmouth County. "It is escalating in these economic times and jobs being tenuous."

The tight job market has compounded the problem, Namie said. "It's a buyer's market. Now the attitude is, "I can treat you however I want and you can leave and I can find more like you.' "

Like the school yard, bullies cause problems at work.

"In terms of overall morale, it is horrible," said Alan Cavaiola, an associate professor at Monmouth University and co-author of "Toxic Co-Workers: How to Deal With Dysfunctional People on the Job." "Everyone kind of tiptoes around this person. It is very much like walking on egg shells."

In one case, Cavaiola said a female worker was harassed by two male supervisors, who made sexually demeaning remarks. Her boss didn't take her complaints seriously, she quit her job and sued.

"They are very narcissistic. They are very self-centered," Cavaiola said of workplace bullies. "They lack empathy. They lack compassion."

But unlike schoolyard bullies, bullies at work tend to target people who are a threat to them, said Namie. Their victims may be stronger performers or better liked.

"The bully is a political animal and knows how organizations run and knows that aggression pays off and is rewarded," Namie said. "You have a player against a person who is basically a do-gooder, someone with a social orientation who (keeps) their nose to the grindstone."

A bully is different from a hard-charging boss, said Red Bank workplace coach Donna Coulson, owner of Donna Coulson & Associates. A hard boss may not smile and give a lot of work to people, but they tend to challenge employees, she said.

"A bully will bully you whether things are good or bad or indifferent," she said.

So what's a worker to do?

If possible, talk to the person later in private, Coulson said. "If you stand up to the bully, they will eventually stop," she said.

Dawe said a worker has to recognize bullying which can be hard to define. But once they do, they should make a diary of what they experience, including dates and times, so they can bring it to human resources, she said.

Namie recommend that workers take a three-prong approach. "You have to recognize that it's happening to you," Namie said. "In a way, that takes a long time. They can't believe it is happening to them, so they are in denial themselves."

They should take time off from work to check their physical and mental health, and look for violations of company policy, he said. Consult a lawyer, he said.

"You need to start to build a business case, the unemotional case, that the bully is too expensive to keep," Namie said.

Take the case to the highest level position who is not pledged or not related to the bully, he added.

Namie said he supports a bill in the state Assembly, called the "Healthy Workplace Act." It would make abusive conduct in a workplace — repeated use of derogatory remarks, insults and epithets that are intimidating and humiliating — illegal. Employers violating that standard could be fined up to $25,000. The bill is currently before the Assembly Labor Committee.

"Workplace bullying is an underappreciated problem," said Assemblywoman Linda Greenstein, D-Middlesex. "Studies have shown that workplace bullying occurs much more frequently than sexual harassment, yet has not received nearly as much attention."

Kathleen M. Connelly, a lawyer at Lindabury, McCormick, Estabrook & Cooper in Rumson, said employers have to recognize the need to address the problem.

"Employers have dropped the ball in not recognizing that an essential element of being a supervisor is managing people, and that means being able to do that in a respectful manner."

But legislation is not the answer, she said.

"This statute would basically give every employee in the workplace a vehicle to commence litigation," she said. "Do we want to be in a situation where our court systems become overwhelmed with burdens with every employee grievance?"

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NEWS - Workplace to consult Union on Bully-Harassment Policy review

New staff policies for council

KEMPSEY Shire Council will implement new policies to ensure staff angst is appropriately dealt with.

At an Industrial Relations Commission hearing last week, council and the United Services Union (USU) discussed issues which had been affecting some staff members since last August.

General manager Allan Burgess said issues between staff and some areas of management had been resolved amicably.

“The commissioner, John Stanton, heard the six grievances and the matters were fully discussed,” he said.

“Council has undertaken to improve its internal communication process and introduce some new policies to ensure more clarity when dealing with staff issues.”

The USU, representing the six staff members, said it too was happy with the outcomes of the hearing.

I’m pleased our members had the opportunity to present their issues to the commissioner and have their concerns heard and be treated with compassion,” USU organiser Narelle Rich said.

“The commissioner provided both parties with some excellent opportunities to improve the consultative mechanisms available to the Union and council, in particular, allowing regular weekly access to its members in an effort to avoid this situation arising again.”

Council and the USU are currently investigating a joint initiative regarding bullying and harassment in the workplace.

Shire to look at Cittaslow concept

KEMPSEY could become one of the first towns in Australia to embrace the Cittaslow concept.

Cittaslow is an Italian concept developed through the slow food movement and encourages communities to take time out and think about the future direction of their town.

It aims to introduce policies that nurture the distinctive features of town and its surrounds.

Kempsey Shire Council has invited the mayor and chief executive of Alexandria Council in South Australia to address a public meeting on Cittaslows next Tuesday at 3pm.

Alexandria Council administers Goolwa, is the first town in Australia to embrace the Cittaslow concept.

The meeting will be held in the council chambers.

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Slow Cities in Australia : After Goolwa, there are two other towns - Katoomba, City of Blue Mountains